Domestically Challenged

Organization: Interview with Lorie Marrero of Clutter Diet

So, as the New Year is upon us, many moms are thinking about organization. As I glance at my messy desk and office, I know I am. One of the organization sites I frequent is The Clutter Diet and I was fortunate enough to pick the brain of the founder Lorie Marrero.

Before you read the interview, go sign up for her newsletter and follow her on Twitter for GREAT tips that you can apply to your messy busy life immediately. :)

1. What is the easiest way for an overwhelmed mom to get organized?

Get a Motivation Partner! Hands down, this is the best way to get organized for good. If the person is local, you can even buddy up to trade organizing favors at each others’ homes. Getting organized is just like any other personal change effort—it requires education (knowing how to do it), motivation (being clear and focused on why you want to do it), and support (the “keep on going” encouragement you need). Usually the missing link for people in their change efforts is this support. Your Motivation Partner can keep you accountable to your goals!  

2. What is the most cost effective way for a mom to begin getting organized? I know for me, sometimes I don't feel like I can get organized because I don't have money to go out and buy all new organizing materials.

Organizing doesn’t always mean going out to buy new supplies. We always try to use what people already have when we work with our clients in person. We teach people that they should not usually go out and buy things until they’ve already waded into the project to see what they really need, and you should always measure shelves and spaces before you go out to minimize costly purchasing mistakes. Your local thrift store almost always will have containers, shelving units, filing cabinets, and other supplies if you are up for it. Focus on the money-SAVING aspects of getting organized, too! You will not be buying duplicate items because you can’t find them, you will make better purchasing decisions because you’ll know what you have, and you’ll save on late fees and other charges when you have your bills and financial information organized.  

3. At the end of the day, many moms are completely overwhelmed after managing house, kids, work, etc. What would be your top three tips (time management or otherwise) to help moms manage the day to day grind?

First, Morning & Evening Routines—super important and easy to implement!

1) You can start with the basic morning “To D.E.W. list”—Dishes (empty the dishwasher to be ready for the day), Eating (plan what you’re going to eat later today), and Wash (take the laundry to the next stage). Add in whatever is important to your family’s particular needs.

2) In the evening you can focus on the “Triple S” routine—Start the dishwasher (so the dishes are ready to put away in the morning), Straighten up (do “clutter patrol” of flat surfaces and the floor), and Set for tomorrow (gather whatever you need for the next day).

3) Thirdly, delegate whatever you can. Don’t be shy about hiring a neighborhood teenager (or your own) to run errands, wash your car, or take care of something on your computer like data entry. What if you got this kind of help addressing your holiday cards this year? Or even doing some shopping for gifts? Remember that it’s important to take care of yourself so that you can keep serving others.

About Lorie:

Certified Professional Organizer® Lorie Marrero is the author of The Clutter Diet: The Skinny on Organizing Your Home and Taking Control of Your Life. She is also the creator of ClutterDiet.com, an innovative program allowing anyone to get expert help at an affordable price. Her organizing books and products are sold online and in stores nationwide. Lorie has been a spokesperson for Microsoft, Brother label makers and FedEx Office, and she is a sought-after expert for national media such as CNBC, Good Housekeeping, WGN News and Woman's Day. 

Non-Resoution #1: Cleaning

In part of my continuing non-resolutions, today I am tackling cleaning. This is my #1 issue in home management. I hate cleaning. I would rather stick sharp objects under my fingernails, but since that would be sado-masochistic, I guess I have to do it.

That being said, I need to get back to the one thing that has helped me - setting a schedule. I used to do really well with it, but as the kids get older and the adhd gets worse and more difficult time consuming, I follow the plan less and less.

Two things I need to do: stick to my schedule and get the kids more involved, on a REGULAR schedule. I posted before about chores for kids, but I need to take my own advice.

I was reminded of this while reading an article from the About.com Housekeeping area - It offers some great ideas about how to break up your chores into daily (blech), weekly, monthly and so on. 

Cleaning is NOT something I plan on spending a lot of time on, but I do need to be better about being less cluttered and more on top on regular cleaning. This may mean a little less Twitter time (boo!), but I can always listen to an audio book.

Daily Cleaning:

• Dishes and kitchen
• General straightening up - this is an issue. With two ADHD'ers, keeping clutter at bay is a battle in and of itself. I have learned to lower my standards of clean, but I still need to keep up on this It will include making sure the kids rooms are straightened up each day and making sure the kid room isn't a wreck.
• Daily laundry - this is so NOT going to happen. I hate doing laundry. HATE. I will still do my laundry on the weekends, though I may try and do one load every other day. See, I'm still in control here.

Weekly - my goal is to do these chores on Friday nights, which will leave the entire weekend for...other chores:

• Bathrooms - I am going to have the kids (mainly the older one) do their bathroom under my supervision. For some reason, the Princess loves wiping down counters.
• Floors - will have to bribe husband, since I hate washing floors.
• Laundry
•  Vacuuming and dusting
• Other cleaning tasks I loathe, such as cleaning out the fridge.

I know I hate a lot of these chores (I really wasn't kidding when I said I hate cleaning), but if I can divide and conquer I think it will work well. I plan to put this in my planner to nag remind me and then I can track my progress.

TOMORROW

I will be tackling organization, including posting an interview with an organizational expert!

The True Meaning of Christmas

This was a column I wrote when my kids were a little younger...it still applies.

The True Spirit of Christmas
by Alana Morales

Originally when I sat down to write my annual Christmas column, I had several potential hot topics to choose from. Let's see, do I talk about my writers version of the 12 Days of Christmas, complete with requests for ear plugs and editor contracts or the difficulty husbands have when buying gifts for their wives (to which I can add a jewelry cleaner from my beloved). Or maybe I could write about the chaos of Christmas day with a large family. Surely, there are many moms out there that can relate to chaos.

I settled on writing about the spirit of Christmas. There are actually two spirits of Christmas - there's the traditional one that makes us all feel warm and fuzzy inside and then there's the one that makes people yell, swear and gesture wildly while trying to find gifts for all the people on their list, whether they really like them or not.

I was planning to address how bad this time of year has gotten, especially when you look at the amount of yelling and screaming that occurs between complete strangers at this time of year. I even had a story about a cute little 70 something year old grandmother who flipped off my husband and I. it seems she misunderstood our gestures - we were trying to let her know that she could have the spot we were going to pull into, and well, she gave us another gesture entirely.

I was planning to write about all of this, but that changed when I witnessed a small, but powerful, example of the true spirit of Christmas this past weekend.

My family and I were waiting to have our pictures taken at our local Target and due to some snafu or another, they were running late. Really late. Like, an hour and a half late.

While the various sets of parents were trying to keep their kids entertained without messing up their clothes, I noticed two little boys playing with in the bubble bath aisle. When it was time for one of the kids to leave, he told the other little boy that he was his new friend and that he was going to go buy him a present.

About 20 minutes later, the first kid returned to the picture area. There brief conversation went like this:

Kid #1: "Hey kid, hey friend!"
Kid #2: "Oh, hi!"
Kid #1: "Hi. I'm sorry, I know that your favorite is Spider Man and Batman, but I couldn't find you that, so I got you this."

He then presented Kid #2 with a brand new Toy Story book. He then ran back to his parents who were waiting at the end of the aisle and they left to go finish off their day, while Kid#2 lay down in the middle of the aisle to read his new book.

Did Kid #2 need the new book? I'm sure his mom could have bought it for him. But, you know what? Kid #1 said he was going to buy something for his new friend and did. The parents knew that they were practicing a random act of kindness, which is becoming a rarity in our world of rushing around and excesses, and they set an example that it is good to give to others, even if you don't really know them all that well.

Leave it to a couple of three year olds to remind the adults what Christmas is all about.

Christmas Anxiety, Take 1

Better read this post quick, because chances are it won't be here in the morning...

Christmas, while my favorite time of year, is also very difficult. Losing a parent when they are young-ish is never an easy thing to deal with, but it is much more difficult around the holidays.

Here's another admission - I suffer from anxiety. I have had it for a while, but it didn't really begin to kick my ass until after my mom passed away. Before we knew the cause (we had to wait months for an autopsy report), we thought it was a heart attack because of all the meds she had been on for all those years.

My anxiety spiraled out of control and seemed to peak around holidays and birthdays. I have thankfully been able to get it more under control this year, but the holidays still present (ha, ha, look at my pun) special issues for me.

Take tonight. There I was, wrapping presents with the kids and bam! I felt a little heart flutter. I get these. I've been checked out by a cardiologist and have been given a clean bill of heart health. I know this. And yet, because of Brittany Murphy's passing from "natural causes: (and seriously, how the hell does a 32 year old die of natural causes? Even if its a defect, that isn't natural...) I worried that it was my heart.I think another contributing factor had been all the tragedy around the mom twitterverse, with @anissamehew and others, I have been a little more body/health/mortality conscious.

And then there's this Christmas thing.

I worry about my brother and how he will do - it's also his birthday. I worry about my dad, even though he has a steady long term girlfriend. I just flat out worry.And it sucks.

I should have expected the panic - I was home, alone, two sleeps before Christmas. I had slightly less noise as usual. I really should have expected to have the anxiety hit and hit hard. Thankfully, it hit later this year. Maybe next year it will wait until Christmas Eve.

I also have very severe scoliosis, which makes my heart and lungs do very funny things, especially when I am sitting on things that are hard, like a floor. And yet I still let the panic grip me.

Here's the message, if anyone reads this - hug those you love. Let your friends know how much they mean to you. Give your kids a few extra smooches, even if they think they are too old for them. Please do this. If there ever comes a time in your life where you can't (and I seroiusly hope it never does happen to you), you will be able to look back upon these times and it will bring a smile to your heart.

Real Moms of Genius - Walmart Mom

I salute you, Walmart mom. You have on a sweatshirt and Crocs with polka dot socks, while one of your kids has on a pair of shorts - no shoes, no shirt. His diaper is hanging out and he's almost 5. Not to mention your other kid, who is in a diaper and sucking on your keys, which you just picked up off the parking lot.

You manage to yell at your kids, your cell phone and the people in the aisle, all while grabbing for a carton of smokes and a can of lil' smokies.

You shuffle through in your slippers, muffin top for all to see, while your baby hangs precariously out of the shopping cart. You all are the epitome of style, with your matching mullets.

Walmart mom, I salute you.

What's your preference - open or closed?

Despite the way it sounds, I'm not asking about anything too dirty. This morning, the hubs and I had a small debate about whether or not we should sleep with the door open.

I'll let you think about what led to the conversation.

So, I did what any mom blogger would do - I asked Twitter and Facebook. :)

The consensus was that, overall, most parents sleep with the door open. There are certain circumstances that lend to a closed door, but what about other times?

Many of the moms who answered did what my husband and I do - leave the door open, close it when we need to, then open it back up, um, after.

One suggestion I heard many years ago was to put a bell either on your child's door or on yours. I like this, but I could see my daughter standing there like one of the bellringers you see outside of grocery stores - not how I want to be woken up.

Another suggestion, which I really like, is to keep your baby monitor once the kids have grown up. Then you could just listen in as needed. I think this would work better for us if our kid rooms were all in the back of the house.

Wanna weigh in - what's your preference?

5 ways you can be a better mom now

With the holidays right around the corner, life is probably getting pretty hectic. Here are a few ways to reconnect with your kids. Most are very obvious, but they still make a big difference.

1. Listen.

Take at least 5 minutes and sit down with your child and really listen to them. You may learn something new, whether its a new insight into how they think, something that has been bothering them or something they have been looking forward to.

2. Play

Play with your child. If they are young, get on the floor and play cars or dolls. If they are older, play video games or a board game with them. You don't have to do it well, they will just appreciate the time.

3. Laugh

Take a few minutes and look up a few jokes to tell your kids. If that doesn't work, do something silly. Have a tickle fight. Have a staring contest. Tell a funny story. Laughing is an instant stress reliever and everyone could use to laugh a little more in life.

4. Do something different

Do something out of the ordinary. Sing and dance. Let the kids cook dinner. Have dinner for breakfast. Have a reverse dinner and eat dessert first. Switch things up a bit to keep things fresh and fun.

5. Show affection

Give your kids a hug. Then give them another one. Don't forget to show your kids how much you love them, even if they are difficult. Don't just give them their good night kisses - they deserve smooches all day long.

My stance as a mom blogger

I consider myself a mom blogger. Mommy Blogger. Mom who blogs.

Whatever you call it, it doesn't seem to be working for me the way I want it to. I mean, in my mind I blog several times a week. In reality though, it is much, much less.

I want to blog. I really, really do. But between the job, the writing, the kids and their ADHD and that silly thing called real life, it always seems to take the back burner.

So, what to do?

I don't have a solution yet. I want to offer my readers parenting solutions in between books. I want to offer helpful hints and tips on a regular basis. I really do. But it just isn't happening. And with two new books in the works, I'm not even sure if it's a realistic expectation for myself.

Maybe I will move it to my Facebook Fan page. Maybe just keep it rolling through Twitter. I'm not sure. All I know is that I need to find a solution.

I'm a blog junkie - if I could, I would have one for parenting, one for ADHD and one for writing. To me, this would be ideal. I don't have the time for it, but would LOVE to do it that way.

Maybe I could do a round up post here, one with my highlights of the week. Who knows? I do know that I need to decrease some of the pressure I put on myself with the blog here, without neglecting it.

Thanks for sticking with me - I appreciate you all! :)