Domestically Challenged

Just the Tip Tuesday: Make Your Life Easier

Before we get to the holidays, I have been trying to find ways to make my life easier. The big buzzword is "simplify" but there is merit to it. With all the demands on our time and the stress of our current economic situation, we need to make things easier on ourselves.

Here's a few tips to help you:

1. Oragnize your time. Whether or not you are a chronic timewaster or have every minute scheduled out already, look at where your time goes. Then ask yourself "How can I make it better?" There are several reasons to this, but the main one is that if you use your time more wisely, you may be able to find more time for yourself. Imagine that! Where can you make things easier? Can you buy something instead of making it from scratch? Little things like this add up quickly.

2. Only what's important. Are there things you do/worry about/think about that aren't really that important? I am the queen of this. There will be times where my daughter wants to do something that I may not want her to do (and I'm talking about the things she ACTUALLY asks about), but then I try to stop and ask myself - What would it hurt? If the answer is no one, then I let her do it. This may include things like digging in the dirt before dinner. Sure, she's a bit messier but she's also a lot happier and I didn't even have to get upset over anything. Where can you apply this in your life?

3. Get help. I don't mean paid help (unless you can swing it, then by all means, do it!) - I mean from your family. Teach your kids age appropriate tasks, such as making snacks or lunch, pouring milk and getting their laundry sorted. This reduces the amount of tasks you are responsible for which is a GOOD THING!

How have you simplified your life lately?

*And yes, I know that I used the word "thing" entirely too much, but I am tired and at work and can't think straight at the moment. LOL

 

So, I've decided to skip my birthday this year...

Today is my Birthday Eve, but I've decided that I am no longer celebrating it. My kids are bummed, but I've just decided that I don't want to. It's not as much fun when you don't have your mom around to celebrate it.

Now, it's not like my mom made an extra big deal about it. It was just the regular "mom stuff." Things like calling me at exactly 6:32 AM to tell me that it was now officially my birthday and complaining all day about how her water broke when she was only 6 months along and she walked (yes, WALKED) her ass to the hospital.

She would then talk about how preemie I was and how I had to wear doll clothes (wth happened from there?!?!) and how I was in the hospital for a month and she would sit with me every day and hold me or hold my hand while I was still hooked up to the machines.

And I would roll my eyes. And not listen. Because I had already heard it a million times before.

But, man, what I wouldn't give to hear it just a million and one more.

Now I just want to skip my birthday, because I don't have that anymore. I don't have my mom to tell me how happy she was to have me or how worried she was that I was in the hospital for so long or even, god forbid, that I had casts on my legs for months and then had to wear corrective Herman Munster shoes afterwords.

My husband does a great job, because he knows that I am just a big dork and get just as excited as my kids do about bdays and holidays, even though that really isn't the case anymore. I try to keep my head up, because it's fun for the kids to be able to tell me Happy Birthday all day and then I spend the rest of the time lying to them about my age.

But mostly, I think about my mom and what I've lost.

I think about how much I miss the mom support - which basically translates into how your mom thinks you are the best at EVERYTHING just because you are you. I miss the incessant phone calls where I didn't really listen to her. I dammit, I miss the stupid birthday stories as well.

Just the Tip Tuesday - Kid Chores

In the Mom Universe, the value of chores has been debated quite a bit. Here's the way I see it - if moms and dads have to do chores, why not the kids? Isn't that part of their job title?

You see, I grew up in a family where the kids did chores, no question asked. Ever. Nowadays, there are a ton of kids who don't do chores. As a teacher, I can honestly say that it makes a difference.

So, where do you begin?

It depends on how old your kids are. Let's say they are elementary school age and above. This is a great age to brainwash ingrain the idea of participating in keeping the family areas looking decent. 

Here's a sample age chart from WorkingMom.com -

3-4 YEAR OLDS CAN:	10-12 YEAR OLDS CAN ALSO:
Pick up Toys	Clean mirrors
Fold Dishtowels and Washcloths	Clean kitchen counters & sink
Match Socks	Fold and put away laundry
Put small items in the garbage	Put away groceries
Give food to pets	Pack their own lunch
Water indoor plants	Light yard work
	Load the dishwasher
- - - - - - - - - -
5-6 YEAR OLDS CAN ALSO:	13-14 YEAR OLDS CAN ALSO:
Answer the telephone	Clean the bathroom
Sweep a deck/patio/porch	Change bed sheets
Wipe the bathroom sink	Mow the lawn
Put forks and spoons away	Wash dishes by hand
Put their own clothes in the drawer	Wash the car
Sort laundry into color piles	Do laundry
Use a hand-held vacuum	Shovel snow
- - - - - - - - - -
7-9 YEAR OLDS CAN ALSO:	15 YEARS AND UP CAN ALSO:
Take out Garbage	Use a leaf blower
Set the table	Use a snow blower
Clear the table	Clean the refrigerator
Vacuum an area rug	Reorganize storage areas
Clean the inside of the car	Make Dinner
Empty the dishwasher
Put away clean dry dishes
Water the garden

I think this is a pretty good list. My 9 yo is more than capable of loading and unloading a dishwasher (Thank goodness, my work is now complete!).

Once you decide who's going to do what, the next thing you need to decide is when. <Insert old person voice here> "Back in my day, we did chores on Saturday, no matter what."

I try to do this with my kids, but with weekend sports I am finding that doing chores on Friday nights works out better. Exciting life I live, right? Actually, I really like this idea because then, when you wake up on Saturday, instead of dreading it, you can actually look forward to it.

What about tracking? Do you even need to track chores?

As a techno nerdy mom, I used to say yes. There are a plethera of online chore monitoring sites, such as HandiPoints (my fave), Chore Wars - which pits kids against each other in a video game setting, and Chore Buster (which also works well for adults, esp if you have roommates). 

You can also choose to use just plain old pencil and paper. Printable chore charts abound online - my faves are from ChartJungle, DLTK Kids and Alenka's Printables.

Again, if you or your child needs a good visual or you want a way to track chores, then print away. But I ask you this - is it really necessary?

I will print chore charts if my kids are getting off task with them (I've even made a chore collage for my daughter), but I never stay consistent with them. I think it's because it turns into just another sheet of paper to handle.

The other point to consider is payment. Will your kids get money to do chores? I didn't growing up. I was deprived of the allowance talks, I admit it. But you know what? It didn't really matter.

Do I pay my kids? It depends. My son does get paid for picking up dog poop, but that's because we have big dogs and there's a lot of it. His other chores are expected to be done regardless.

I know this is a lot to think about, so I'm curious - do your kids do chores and if so, do you track it?

Menu Plan Monday

OK, I am going to do this, in earnest. I WILL PLAN MY MEALS OUT THIS WEEK!

 
 There, see? Now I have to do it. The big issue with me is this - do I account for my food allergies or not? Cooking is sooooooo much easier when I don't worry about making everything dairy and gluten free. And, truth be told, luten and dairy free eating stinks. Especially when your fave foods are all wheat and dairy.

Anyway, here's my plan. I will be doing a weekly challenge next week (wait, you didn't know? Look here for a preview), and I am on break this week, so I should have no trouble cooking something.

Day 1 - Hamburgers

Day 2 - BBQ Chicken

Day 3 - Turkey Sausage, Red Beans and Rice

Day 4 - Beef Stroganoff

Day 5 - Chicken Nuggets for the kids

Because of basketball, I know that one night will be In and Out burger and there will be at least one night that I don't eat dinner, but since I'm off this week it won't happen as much as it usually does.

Notice I don't assign days? This is because I never know what I will be in the mood to eat on a given day, so I don't like to feel locked in to a meal.

I will edit this later once I verify all the ingredients. Hasta!

** For more info on Menu Plan Monday, go here!

6 Things Nobody Told You About Being a SAHM

1. Your kids will not magically behave like angels all the time just because you are home.

  2. Your home will not always be clean. In fact, it may even be more dirty since you will be there more.

3. You will not have time to cook wonderful five course meals every day. You kids will probably still eat lots of macaroni and hot dogs.

4. Being home all the time will sometimes be boring, stressful and frustrating - often at the same time.

5. Even though you are "at home" you are rarely at home. You've got playdates, errands, soccer, swimming, grocery shopping - everything, everywhere and all at the same time.

6. Staying home all the time is much more difficult than working.

Care to add to the list? :)

Adapted from Domestically Challenged.

Daily Gratitude

I am a little late, but I think the important thing is that I keep going. That’s what I tell myself anyway. The challenge I took today was:

It’s been two weeks since you started The Gratitude Challenge. Write about how The Challenge has changed your perspective thus far.

Even though I haven’t written about the challenge in a few days, I do think about it. I am trying to show my husband that I appreciate him. I am trying to be appreciative of my kids’ unique talents and traits, even when they are beating the crap out of each other while I am driving home.

I. Am. Trying.

And some days it’s not easy. When I am tired and the kids are fighting or not doing what they should be doing. But, I am still trying. How about you?

Saturday Intervention #2 - The Princess's room

So, despite being sick, I decided to continue with my plans for my intervention Saturday. This week is was my daughter's room. Here's the before:

And this isn't even the real before, more like the 20 minutes and I forgot to take the picture before.

This, folks, is what happens when you have an ADHD kiddo who throws tantrums (and by throws, I mean LITERALLY THROWS)  trashes her room when she gets mad. This is also a result of a sick mommy and a kid who needs toys gone. She really functions better with less "stuff" but that is a different post.

I spent about 2 hours in her room this morning and if my face didn't feel like someone had lit my sinus cavity on fire I would have decluttered her closets too.

Here's the after:

Not bad, huh? :)

I needed an intervention

So, it's no secret that I am domestically challenged, I mean, I wrote the book on it. But even so, that doesn't give me an excuse to be lazy, which is what I have been.

You see, we are coming into my depressing time of year. A time where there are painful reminders all over the place about the loss of my mother. This makes me tend to withdraw. Not. Good.

So, about a week ago I was sick, sitting on the couch, thinking about how messy my house had gotten. I then realized that I had had enough! No more not being able to see the floor in my kids rooms. No more messy bathrooms. No more.

So, I decided I needed an intervention. I made a plan (as I am wont to do) and now I am following it.

Last week was the bathrooms. I cleaned my bathroom and the kids bathroom so well that my hubs walked in, walked out and asked if he was in the wrong house. I got rid of all the counter clutter in the rooms and it felt great!

Watch my next post about my intervention in my daughter's room and look for my upcoming Domestically Challenged Interventions - where you can participate and win!!

Gratitude Challenged - Day 12

Today's task:

Today, make the effort to live life with a positive outlook. Restrain from criticizing the people around you. Dare to see the glass half full. Listen more than you speak. Give freely of yourself. Practice kindness at every opportunity.

This is something that I have been working on for a while. Being in teaching and a mom of 2 ADHDers makes life.....um, complicated. And difficult. And frustrating. And exausting. And, wait, what was I talking about again? Not complaining? Hmmmm.

You see, complaining is natural for me, whether it's an ache and pain, a rough class, a rough night, med issues - you name it. I don't want to be known as a complainer, I just like reassurance. I like for someone to tell me that everything will be ok. I can admit that.

I also admit that I really don't want to be the whiny complainer that makes people groan when they enter a room. So, I am trying to complain less. And when I do complain, I am trying to do so constructively. I know that sounds dumb, but I mean it. Sometimes as moms, we need to complain and commiserate. It's natural. It's when you complain about everything that it becomes a problem.

So, this challenge fits with what I need to do - complain less and show more outward positivity. Some days will be tougher than others, but such is life. :)